The Thursday Curse is BACK!!!

And it's worse than ever, as it involves that big gilled, bottom feeding bum bandit, THE ROCK!

Things were looking good, when the Donk flops a 10 with a King kicker but my Queens hold, felting the muppet. I guess I curse myself by trash talking old Coconut head...

He then proceeds to bust me in three consecutive hands, and I mean literally, one hand after the other.

Short on chips, I put the Rock all-in with four to the nut flush draw, but I fail to hit so double him up.

In the very next hand, we both call a pot-sized pre-flop raise, and we both hit the flop scaring off the pre-flop raiser. I hit a King with a Queen kicker, but the Rock hits a set of 3s. 

In the very next hand (after pulling some cash from my pocket) I look down at pocket Kings and limp in. The Rock raises the pot and it feels like Christmas so I re-raise and tell the pillock to re-raise me for the rest of my chips, which he duly obliges considering he's sitting on pocket Aces. UN-FKIN-BELIEVABLE!!!

I wish the table the season's good cheer, with some choice ye olde english cussing... and storm from the premises, and home, in time for peak time television.

Bah Humbug...

2009 is the year when I aim to make the Rock actually cry at the table... and maybe even wee himself a little bit... it's my new year's resolution...

FHP ONLINE LEAGUE - HEAT TWO REPORT

Cat Thrash is looking unstoppable, as he captures two for two, and just like in Heat One, he has to defeat a pro heads-up to take down the win.

The Re-buy period is fairly grim for me, despite starting out fairly well, aided by Quad Queens early, and then pocket Queens, which scoop me a big pot when I check to the player in position who had flopped top pair (Jack) with an Ace kicker... she pushed them all-in and I insta-call.

Things get depressing, as people (myself included) insist on giving Rocky chips, the spanner.

Just before the first break, I'm just ahead of the average chip stack, so of course I shell out for the Add-on.

I make a semi-bluff half an hour into the freezeout period with four to the nut flush on the flop and get two players to fold, scooping in a nice pot.

I desperately need a double-up and I pretty much get one, when I flop a set of 4s in position and Doughel bets into me on every street... I push on the river and she/he folds.

A beautiful thing happens as we get towards the final table. The Rock flops two pair, but luckily for us, the1cardinal had flopped the nut straight... unfortunately, Rock has a handful of chips left so we have to put up with his whining for another 2 minutes... until he pushes with the premium hand, Jack, 7 off...

I'm out 12th, when I push with Ace, 8 suited and run straight into doughel's pocket Queens.

The final table showdown is a little hazy as the cash game was full and I was running hot.

SakaiSalmon is out 10th, although I didn't get to see the hand. I have a feeling over the series, this won't be the only time the Salmon makes a final table appearance.

Kpswbc is out 9th when vflkngip isolates him with Pocket Queens, and Kp can't catch an Ace.

Feigos is next when she makes a semi-bluff with Ace, 5 - unfortunately, alanjsy is sitting on Trip Jacks.

Smallyboyyepyep is next and doughel is on the points bubble when she flops a Jack, but the Cat Thrash was slow-playing Queens.

The final five goes as follows:

alanjsy - 1 Point

Vflkngip - 2 Points

Beastnog - 3 Points

DizzzyRascal - 4 Points

Cat Thrash - 5 Points

Will anyone catch the Cat Fiddler? Will the Beast's consistent top 5 finishes secure him a prize? Will Rocky stop being a big gilled, bottom feeding eggplant?

Logon to Heat Three in January to find out!!!

NO ONLINE TOURNAMENT FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS - AS THEY FALL ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND NEW YEAR'S EVE.

THE 2008 PPPO BRACELET WINNER IS...

Sweeney Todd - AKA Dave Elliott 

Despite a disappointing turn-out for the inaugural Planet Pool Freezeout, we had a day of fantastic poker with the obligatory bad beats, monster hands, bluffs, gaffs and fuckwittery.

Dave played a blinder in a back and forth heads-up against Phil Da Silva, who hit the final table with a massive chip lead after his pocket 10s became a set, cracking pocket Kings and pocket Aces no less (unlucky Scotty, who was holding the Rockets!)

Dave finally won the lion's share of the prizepool (should cover the crimbo presents easily!) the sparkly Poker Championship bracelet and earned 5 points on the FHP Leaderboard (Dave shoots-up to 2nd Place after this win behind myself and Craig Hartley).

The 5 players to hit the cash were as follows:

1ST - Dave Elliott

2ND - Phil Da Silva

3RD - Will Picot

4TH - Soxy

5TH - Charles Butler

In case you are wondering, I hit the final table but left the tournament in 10th place when I am crippled by The Gay Blade when his Queens are tripped with the first card on the flop, thus making my Ace, Queen look pretty washed-up!

Phil then takes me out when I push my tiny stack with 8, 9 suited. He called with 10, 9. I am looking good on the flop with a straight and flush draw but manage to miss EVERYTHING!

Big thank you to Dan for flying over from Guernsey for his first live tournament and he should be proud of himself hitting the final table.

Look out for the Freezeout Schedule at Planet Pool in 2009, we will be running regular tournaments on Saturday afternoons and early evenings.

jT...

GO DAVE!!!

FHP Online League - HEAT ONE REPORT...

Heat One was always going to be interesting. Who would take the early lead on the leaderboard? How would the Jersey crew fare against not one, but two sharks patrolling the tables in the form of Uncover Pros, Chris 'Soxy' Sokrati and Conor Tate?

Conor is a highly respected tournament pro and in 2008 cashed in the Irish Open Main Event and Three of the WSOP Bracelet Events. He is ranked number 2 on the Northern Ireland All-time Money List and has earned nearly $1,000,000 in tournament earnings... piece of cake, then!

Generous to a fault, both Soxy and Conor pledged to donate their winnings to next week's prizepool if either of them came 1st or 2nd and also offered a bounty prize of a free buy-in to next week's tournament for the player or players that knocked them out of the tournament.

I was on fire, and went a whole 36 minutes before winning a meaningful pot! I managed to go bust twice in that time... legend.

With about 15 minutes to go before the end of the Re-buys, I make a loose call with King, 4 suited and catch trip 4s for a nice pot.

With 2 minutes to go I win a massive pot when Captainvice refuses to believe that I had a King in the hole when a Cowboy came out on the flop and calls my All-in with his pocket Jacks.

jsyvixen went on a bullying spree and dominated the table for the first hour or so... even the Beast got an arse kicking from Mrs. Soxy!

I eliminate MROTheAnteChrist when he pushes with King, 4 suited and my pocket 8s hold. Captainvice is next to go, when I isolate him with my Ace, 8 and it looks like I may be in trouble when he flips over pocket Kings! Luckily for me, I flop an Ace and send the smut captain home.

BEATABLOCK joins our table and goes on a bullying spree with his chip lead. Raise, Re-Raise, Re-Re-Raise! But the BLOCK has a bad run and his chip stack is up and down like a yo-yo. In the meantime, jsyvixen and the Beast have moved ahead in chips.

I pick-up pocket Jacks but no-one wants to play, and I have to fold 4s pre-flop against a raise and re-raise.

Just when it looks like Beast is going to finally kill off BEATABLOCK after humping him left right and centre in lots of small and medium sized pots, the BLOCK calls the Beast's all-in with pocket Queens and the ladies convert into a flush, pumping the Beast's 10s... but this is merely a flesh wound to the Beast's stack.

As if the table weren't fed-up enough of being jsyvixen's bitch for 2 hours, Soxy joins the table and we enter what I like to refer to as the 'black period' as I am raised and re-raised by Soxy and his missus for a sustained period... lovely.

I make a move with Ace, 2 suited and walk into BEATABLOCK's pocket 10s. I flop four to the flush and turn the nuts for a nice double-up.

My pocket Kings eliminate doughel with her 9s and I become the chip leader as we approach the final table. Soon after jsyvixen takes out BEATABLOCK.

The Beast doubles through jsyvixen when he turns a flush, cracking the lady's pocket Aces!

I finally get tired of Soxy's raising and make a desperation Re-raise with Ace, 5 suited. Soxy goes into the tank, wishes me good luck and calls with his ducks. An Ace comes out on the flop, making my stack healthy again.

The vixen had been grinding away, building her chip stack back up but I finally caught her when she pushed with Ace, 9 and I insta-called with Ace, King taking her out of the tournament.

At last, we have our final table and dauntingly, it's full of pros and the bloody Pomme 2008 Tournament Champ in the form of Cat Thrash.

Don't tell anyone, but in the very first hand on the final table, the player under the gun pushes and I fold pocket Jacks in the next seat with six players to act... they all fold and I punch myself in the face for folding. Shhhhhhhh.

We get some Pro on Pro violence, when Conor's own Jacks (Why did I fold mine!!!) stay ahead of Soxy's Ace, King all the way and Sealey even rivers a flush. We now have a major chip leader and NOT the person we want with chips!

Conor let's Shaken007 bluff off all of his chips and smooth calls him out of the tournament with pocket Queens.

Soxy pushes with Queen, 7 and Cat Thrash calls with Jack, 10 suited. Sox has to sweat his lead until the flop, when three clubs come straight out for the flush, and put the Cat in great shape chip-wise and of course, earns himself free entry into next week's tournament by eliminating a Pro!

wtfdonklolgg is next, when Conor flops a set against his big slick, we're now down to the 5 players who will earn points for the leaderboard.

The Beast is hurt, when Daynesy rivers a straight against his pocket 8s, and that must explain his Rocky-like (well, they are related) donk call against my shitty Ace. He hits a Jack on the flop and ends my tournament life... stupid, baldy, suckout, FIEND!!!

So I earn one point... dancer!

The Beast is out next when his pocket 5s go behind when Cat Thrash flops a Queen with Ace, Queen and converts it into a nut flush on the river. 2 points for the Beastnog.

Daynesy10 was always behind by a curly hair with his Ace, 6 against Cat Thrash's Ace, 7. They both hit their Ace on the flop, and only having to dodge a 6, the Cat Thrasher hits his 7 for two-pair just to teach the youngster a lesson.

We now have a mouthwatering heads-up showdown between Pro, Conor Tate, and professional cat fiddler, Cat Thrash...

Everyone is watching the match and for a while it goes back and forth. With a flop of 8, 9, 6 the Thrasher makes a semi-bluff with his open ended straight (holding Jack, 10). Conor thinks for a few ticks and makes an amazing call with Ace, King. The turn is a blank, but the river gives the Cat a 10 and it's all over!

Cat Thrash is our Champ!

The final points go as follows:

Cat Thrash - 5 Points

Conor Tate - 4 Points

Daynesy10 - 3 Points

Beastnog - 2 Points

AnteherojT - 1 Point

MASSIVE thanks again to Conor for his generosity, next week's tourney has $480 in the pot before anyone even registers!!!

Bring it on...

The Beast Who Stole Xmas...

Congratulations to The Beast for winning the Pomme Xmas Tournament. He took home the impressive trophy, not to mention the lion's share of the £6000 pot!

Cat Thrasher was runner-up and secured his place as the overall tournament champion at the Pomme. The guy ALWAYS seems to be sitting on the final table!

It was actually the Beast who eliminated me from the final table in 10th place. Ace, King proved to be a dog for me TWICE in the big game.

The first time it pumped me, I was chipleader on my table just before the break and flopped a King on a relatively harmless board... except for the fact my opponent was sat on pocket Kings!

Still in good shape after the break (40,000 chips) I went card dead for an hour or so and skulked onto the final table as the shortstack (£32,000) with monster blinds of 4000/8000.

I pushed with King, Queen suited and picked-up the blinds so at least I could wait for a good hand for another 10 hands or so.

I looked down at Big Slick and decided it was another pushing hand in my chip situation (and chose to ignore how it had taken a slice from me earlier in the tournament). One of the chipleaders, ClaireBear, raised it up to pretty much all my chips and then The Beast came over the top. I was happy to be in a situation where I could trebble-up so pushed them all in. I was even happy with their hands - ClaireBear had Ace, Queen and The Beast had pocket 10s.

I'd make that move a thousand times against those hands, but I couldn't find an Ace or a King so the 10s held and put the Beasty Boy in a healthy chip position.

My one consolation is that I eliminated Rocky earlier in the tournament, who pushed all his chips in with pocket Kings, the Donk... and of course the Cowboys were no match for my Jacks, especially when the set came on the flop! Ouch, sorry Rocky! They are called Hooks for a reason you big gilled, bottom feeder! Of course I am kidding, that was very unlucky and everyone at the table felt genuince sadness at the loss of such a poker personality from the tournament. That beat was bad for The Rock, but consider BeataBlock for a moment... his Kings were cracked by the Beast's pocket 9s, when the Grinch flopped QUADS!!! YEOWCH!!!

My new favorite seat in the cash game is seat one... you get the button when the game kicks off and the dealer insisted on dealing me pocket Aces twice and pocket Kings twice, so at least I ended the day 300% up!

More details coming on the FHP Online League at Uncover Poker today...

PLUS the WINTER SERIES dates have been confirmed and I will be releasing details of that league shortly too...

AnteVirusjT

Ante Virus Reports on the Inaugural FHP Online Tourney @ Uncover Poker

I'd been looking forward to seeing this come to fruition since my first meeting with Soxy when we talked about the possibility of running an FHP tournament online at Uncover Poker. We all play online and we all know what it's like to play against a field of over a thousand, faceless names trying their best to felt us.

But the premise of this tournament was something new altogether... playing against people we see in live games every week either down the Pomme or at the Tipsy Toad FHP tournaments in Jersey.

39 players registered and the virtual cards were in the air at 8pm on the dot. We'd set the format at 8 players per table and it was great trying to work out who was who. Of course we all hopped to the other tables in-between hands to wish everyone luck and hurl abuse at Rocky, the plum... but it was all good fun and the banter was what made it such a great night.

I had to wait 10 minutes before being dealt a playable hand, and I call a small raise from the small blind with Ace, 7. I flop a 7, which is top pair and bet the pot. Everyone folds.

I'm card dead for 15 minutes and more out of boredom than any real optimism, I call a raise with King, 10. We all play like gimps, checking the flop and turn. A 10 hits the river and Shaker007 pops a bet of 500. I call and beat his Queen, 10.

About half-way through the Re-buy period, I know it's Christmas when I catch pocket Aces. I raise it-up to three times the blind and get re-raised by Shaker007. Oh happy days. Shaker is all-in for about a third of my chips and Ash also calls, who has a few thousand left behind, so I raise him all-in. He calls. Ash is sitting on Ace, 9 suited and Shaker007 is on Queens and he flops a set... BASTARD! But at least I limit my loss by taking the rest of Ash's chips. I'm a few hundred down.

Two hands later, I get pocket Kings, raise it up and Feigos calls me. The flop is 2d, 10d, Ah and Feigos pops a big bet and I know I have to walk away from the Cowboys. I'm beginning to dislike playing pre-flop big pairs!

That is until I get another pair of Aces in the hole! I pop the pot and get two callers. I don't like the two 9s on the flop, but fire again and they both fold. 

I think we only lost a couple of players before the first break, and after the Re-buys and all the Add-ons, the pot had swelled from $780 to over $1500!

Post Re-buys, the play tightened up and as people got eliminated, players were moved around and again, it was great fun working out who you were playing against and throwing some 'tude as necessary... obviously giving Rocky a hard time too, wherever he was sitting.

For two hours or so, we jostle for position and a couple of monster chip stacks emerge in the form of HubOfLogic, Cat Thrasher and Leigos. Unfortunately for me, I'm sat with two of them... I river a Queen high flush and call a big bet from Hub, who flips over the King high flush, taking a quarter of my chip stack to add to his substantial lead!

As more players are eliminated, we find ourselves 5 handed, and I am sat with Rocky and three of the chip leaders. Meanwhile, Soxy (DizzzyRascal) had gone from the short stack to climb the ranks like King Kong up the Empire State Building to sit in the top ten chip leaders!

The hand that takes us to the final table is a monster showdown between two of the chip leaders, HubOfLogic and Feigos. Feigos is in the small blind and limps in. The flop comes 8, 8, King and Hub pushes all his chips in. Feigos insta-calls with pocket 10s and Hub's Ace, Queen bluff sends him to the rail.

And so we have our final table! 

Yours truly (AnteHerojT) 

Rocky

Feigos

Cat Thrasher

Slowman

DizzzyRascal (FIX!!!)

Doughel

MikeOxbigg81

Guess who goes out first? Yep, this muppet. I'm in push or fold mode anyway as one of the short stacks and wake-up with pocket 10s. Great timing for Slowman to get Kings! I leave in a huff, insult Rocky one more time and then head to the FHP cash table, keeping a keen eye on how the rest of the final table plays out.

The order of the next few eliminations may be a bit ropey as Beast was playing all aggressive on the cash table.

Rocky is unlucky when his Ace, King (in the short stack) is called by Mike (with the chip lead) holding Ace, Jack and spikes a Jack on the turn.

The chips are starting to spread out evenly and it looks like we could be in for a long game. I can't remember who bubbles, although I know it was Leigos or Mike, but anyway, we are soon down to the final four with DizzzyRascal, doughel, Slowman and Cat Thrasher. Mike is busted when he catches a pocket pair, only for Slowman to catch a better pair and if that wasn't bad enough, he flops a set just to show off!

Dizzzy pushes with Ace, Jack and is called by doughel with King, Jack. It's looking good for Soxy until a King comes out on the flop.

Three-handed.  Almost immediately, Cat Thrasher is all-in with Cowboys, alas doughel (turns out to be the hel rather than the doug - Helen that is) has the rockets.

Slowman flops bottom pair with four to a Queen high flush, but Helen's luck is running good... she flopped the nut flush. Slowman makes the semi-bluff by pushing them all-in and Helen licks her lips and flips over the winning hand.

HELEN IS THE CHAMP!!!

The FHP Cash Table ran on until the wee hours and I think it is safe to say that a great night was had by all.

My unreserved thanks to all of you who tuned-in (yes I know you don't tune a laptop, but you know what I mean), to Soxy for all the effort he put into promoting and setting-up the game, and to Uncover Poker for hosting a fantastic night and for coping with a flood of new users.

SAME TIME NEXT WEEK FOLKS... for the first heat in the new online league... structure and VERY interesting prizes to be confirmed soon... Soxy's brain is whirling away as I type to make the first place prize for the top of the leaderboard a cracker... think all expenses trip to a UK £1000 live tournament!

CHECK OUT the screenshots from the last few hands in the posts below...

jT

The Final Table

CLICK ON THE IMAGE ABOVE TO SEE A LARGER VERSION

I had some work to do as one of the short stacks, and was happy to push them in with pocket 10s. Unluckily for me, Slowman was sitting on Cowboys! I was live to the river with a potential gutshot, but couldn't fill up so was out 8th!

Heads-Up

Three-handed, Cat Thrasher is delighted to find pocket Kings, and pushes them all-in pre-flop... Unfortunately, Helen was sitting on pocket rockets.

Now with the chip lead, Helen only has to get past Slowman to take down the tournament.

Final Hand

Well, it didn't take long. After hitting the flop and with a Queen high flush draw, Slowman pushes them all-in, slap bang into Helen's Nut Flush!!!

Game over, doughel is the winner of the inaugural FHP Online Tournament.